You sit there enjoying a refreshing beverage or maybe the fine programming of Spike TV or Lifetime, and then it strikes! One moment your infant is playing a rousing game of abuse the rattle and the next he is being devoured by that old bedsheet that you thought was your friend. All the memories of delightful naps and long winter sleeps fail to overcome the pain and bitterness of being replaced by that new sheet... you know, the one with a higher threadcount?! What, Walmart sheets are no longer good enough for you?! You graduate from college, get a job and now you have to sleep in a bigger bed with softer sheets?!
It sits in the linen closet and plots its next move. When the pain is too much it considers stowing away in the neighbor kid's duffel bag when she leaves for college. When the bitterness overwhelms it, the thoughts turn to destroying the new sheets. Then, when its despair and torment are about to reach the breaking point... what's this? Who is this little creature you seem to care so much about? You took something from me, maybe I will take this from you. It begins to rationalize and decides it must consume the baby so that it will not know the anguish when the next one comes along and it becomes yesterday's news. It quietly plots the optimal time to make its move and then... it strikes! You thought you made your house secure for the little one, but danger lurks in all corners. Et tu, bedsheet?
No comments:
Post a Comment